Category Archives: recipes

Paleo (mostly) Chocolate Chili Tart

zomg. If you read my last post, this recipe post isn’t really that surprising. BUT it is sooooo good. This recipe makes 6 4-inch tarts, which can feed 12 people easily. It would be a nice thing to make if you had a bunch of couple friends from your box over for dinner.

Finally, a decent image of something I made.

Special supplies:

A double boiler OR a glass bowl set over a pan of simmering water

A tart tamper (You can pick one up on Amazon. Sorry I picked the most phallic looking one)

Mini tart pans (Also on Amazon)

For the crust:

3 cups almond meal/flour

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking soda

2/3 c coconut oil, melted

4 tbsp honey

For the filling:

12 oz dark chocolate, chopped. (I suggest a high quality bar chocolate, like Lindt. I used 70% cocoa.)

1 can of coconut milk, chilled

3/4 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp ground cloves

1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

1/8 tsp ground chipotle peppers

1/2 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp salt

1. Preheat the oven to 350. Line a cookie sheet with foil. In a medium-large bowl, combine the almond meal, salt and baking soda. In a different bowl, whisk together the honey and coconut oil. Then add the coconut oil to the almond meal and blend thoroughly.

2. In each tart pan, add a few tablespoons of crust mixture and flatten down with the tart tamper. Make sure you cover the walls of the pan–I had to press the crust in with my fingers on the walls.

3. Place the tart pans on the lined baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes, or until golden and fragrant. Remove from oven and tamp down the puffy bottoms with the tamper again.

4. Start the heat under your double boiler. Chop the chocolate and add to the top of the double boiler. Melt very gently so it retains that nice glisteny color. Once melted through, remove the boiler from heat.

5. Open your chilled coconut milk, scrape off the thick part and drain away the coconut water (save it, drink it, whatevs). Put the creamy solid in a bowl and beat until about as thick as whipped cream. Fold the coconut whip in the melted chocolate. Add the spices and vanilla. Adjust seasonings to your preference. I like mine a little spicier.

6. Pour the chocolate mixture evenly into the cooled tart crusts. Place in the fridge to cool and firm. Remove from fridge about 10 minutes before you want to serve.

7. Eat! Either with friends or alone by only the glow of the open fridge door.

 

 

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Mediterranean Chicken Ragout (Paleo pantry throw-together)

I should have cropped this. I apologize.

So, last night at 5pm, my mom asked me what we should do for dinner.* She said something with sundried tomatoes and chicken, so she ran to the store for chicken. Once I got half-way through this dish, I realized that we didn’t have any sundried tomatoes, so I had to change course. We had some good leftover ingredients, though, and I’m pretty damn proud of how this turned out.

You will need:

2 tbsp olive oil

8 organic boneless, skinless chicken breasts (or you can get bone-in. whatevs)

salt n pepa

2 cloves of garlic, (say it with me now) pressed

1/2 purple (or red, in the rest of the world) onion, thinly sliced

1 can of artichoke hearts in water, drained and water reserved. The hearts can either be whole or quartered. But if they’re whole, you’ll have to quarter them later.

1 jar of roasted sliced red bell peppers (the tall Merezetti’s one), drained

1/2 cup chopped olives. I used some garlic stuffed ones from Central Market.

2 tbsp capers

salt and crushed red pepper flakes to taste

1. Season the chicken with salt and pepper.

2. Ok, grab you a big ol skillet. Add the olive oil and heat over medium heat. Once the pan is hot, add the chicken. Sear for 5-6 minutes per side or until it’s looking nice n golden. You may have to do the chicken in batches so you don’t over crowd your chicken.

3. Once your chicken is done, remove it from the pan and place it in a covered dish.

4. If the fat content of the skillet is looking low right now, add some more olive oil (or coconut oil). The fat rendered off the thighs was enough for me though. Now add the onion and garlic and sautee until the onions are caramelized.

5. Add the artichoke hearts, peppers, olives and capers and sautee until everything is heated through. Next add about 1/2 cup of the artichoke water (if this grosses you out, chicken stock is a good alternative). Add the chicken back in, adjust seasonings, cover and reduce heat to medium-low. Let simmer for 15-20 minutes. If the liquid level starts to look low, add more of the artichoke liquid.

6. Dish it up in a bowl or on a plate–the choices are yours, and yours alone!**

*Yes, I live with my parents right now. I realize this is border-line loserish. My husband is in Afghanistan and I seriously was going to lose it if I had to deal with another German winter alone. Cut me some slack, people.

**Did you catch that “Legends of the Hidden Temple” reference? I heart you.

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Baby-fied Paleo Butternut Squash

Nugget baby is getting to that pincer-grasp/finger food stage. I bought her some organic cereal to play and practice with and now she’s actually getting it to her mouth so I need some better grain-free options for her. I had some leftover butternut squash sliced (I used it for Butternut Squash Lasagna), so I diced it up to make a good snack for me and baby.

Ingredients:

1-1/2 cups diced butternut squash

2 cloves garlic, pressed (I never dice garlic. I am way too lazy. I always use the garlic press)

1 tbsp coconut oil (or fat of choice)

1. Heat yo pan up over medium heat. Add the coconut oil. Add the garlic and sautee for 1 minute.

2. Add the BS (butternut squash, haha) and mix well. Cover and reduce heat to low. Let roast/sautee for 15-20 minutes or until the squash is fork tender. Uncover and let the water reduce down until almost gone.

3. Let cool and serve to baby (and you). Store in the fridge.

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Paleo Thai Green Curry Shrimp with Swiss Chard

Ok, still obsessed with getting my hair cut. I know you’re all relieved about that–wondering if I was going to commit to looking amazing and all. I’ve also been completing my Lululemon collection. Why does every piece make my ass look amazing? Sigh. I want IT ALL!

I was craving some Thai the other day and came up with this little number.

We need:

2 tbsp coconut oil

1 lb uncooked shrimp, peeled and tails removed

3 cloves garlic, pressed (or minced)

3 tbsp green curry paste

1 bunch Swiss chard, stems removed and saved

1 red bell pepper, diced

1 cup coconut milk

2 tbsp palm sugar (or more or less, depending on how sweet you want it)

salt, pepper and red pepper flakes, to taste

Chopped cilantro for garnish

Start by prepping your veggies. For the chard, remove the stems and slice the stems in to 1/2 inch pieces. Cut the leaves into 1-1/2 inch pieces. Heat a large skillet over medium heat and add oil. Once the oil is melted/heated, add the garlic and sautee 1 minute. Then add the chard stems (stems only!) and the bell pepper. Sautee those until pretty soft. Add the green curry paste and stir constantly until the paste is dissolved completely. Add the coconut milk and palm sugar. Stir to combine, then adjust seasonings. (I added some extra spicy Madras curry powder, too.) Add the chard leaves and let simmer 5-7 minutes. Once the leaves are softened, add the shrimp and cook about 10 minutes or until all the shrimp are pink. Remove from heat and serve in bowls. Garnish and enjoy!

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Semi-paleo Mocha Coffee Creamer

So, you went paleo, but you miss your creamer? Fear not, I created this little number.

Caveat: this will not taste like International Delight – Mocha Caramel Vanilla Sugar Cookie sweet overload, but it *will* give you a little more punch in your java hole.

Ok, so it doesn't look that pretty. And I should have used a smaller jar.

Gather this ensemble:

1 cup coconut milk (I used low-fat because it’s all we had. I would suggest full fat, canned coconut milk)

2 tbsp raw cocoa powder

1/4 cup palm sugar

1 tbsp vanilla

Now, put them all into your vessel of choice and shake well. Taste and adjust the sweetness and flavorings to your preference. Realize that if you add more sugar, it gets worse for you. Duh.

I keep this in the fridge and add a tablespoon or two to my morning coffee (before I head out the door to my WOD).

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Chicken Fajita Salad

I’m not sure this even counts as a recipe since I’m pretty sure someone with a brain slug* could make this. It’s not very creative at all, but it’s something easy to make when all you feel like doing is digging in to a pint of Chubby Hubby (Ok, I’ve never had Chubby Hubby. My favorite is Phish Food and I haven’t had it in YEARS). Anyway, back away from the carbs/sugar. Eat this and feel satisfied, my friends.

You will need:

Grilled/broiled/baked chicken breast, chopped. Probably 1.5 – 2 cups.

1 avocado, diced

2 handfuls of diced tomato (or halved grape tomatoes)

1 handful diced pepper (bell pepper or mini sweet peppers)

1 handful chopped olives

4-6 cups hearts of Romaine, chopped (and stems removed if you prefer)

Salsa, for dressing – read the ingredients to make sure it doesn’t have added sugar or anything disgusting added to it.

1/2 of an onion, thinly sliced & 1 cup sliced mushrooms sauteed in olive oil until mushrooms are soft and onions are caramelized (optional)

It’s go time: Throw everything but the salsa and optional onions/mushrooms in a big bowl. Mix it all around. Eat all the stuff that fell out of the bowl because the one you selected isn’t large enough. Dish a serving of salad on to a plate. Top with salsa and then onions/mushrooms. OMG, you just made chicken fajita salad.

 

*Did you catch that Futurama reference? If so, I heart you.

Fry with a brain slug

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Paleo “Chicken Pad Thai” Lettuce Wraps

I really need to take pictures of these things. Sorry, guys. Will do that one day.

Today was one of those really gloomy, Texas flash floody days. We got buckets and buckets of rain and after doing 45 squat snatches today, I wanted something comforting. Something creamy and soothing. Chicken Pad Thai immediately entered my mind. But there we have problems: peanuts, noodles, soy. So, I needed a work around.

Some red curry paste, almond butter, coconut milk and a touch of maple syrup get us a delish-kenish substitute!

The cast:

1-1.5 lb organic chicken, cut into 1 inch pieces

4-6 cloves of garlic, pressed

2 tbsp coconut oil

1 tbsp + 1 tsp red curry paste

1/2 c coconut milk

2-3 tbsp almond butter

1-2 tbsp maple syrup

1/4 tsp ground coriander

1/2 tsp sea salt, or to taste

1 tbsp Sriracha (it’s baaaaack!)

8-10 leaves of Boston, Bibb or Butter lettuce

3 green onions, sliced

1/4 cup of chopped cilantro

Beginning, enter frying pan.

Saute chicken and garlic in coconut oil until chicken is done. (Read: no longer pink.) Add the curry paste and stir/saute until the chicken is all coated with that red goodness. Add the coconut milk, almond butter, syrup and spices and stir. Let the liquid reduce down until almost all gone, stirring occasionally. Adjust seasonings.

Wash lettuce leaves and let dry while you prepare the chicken mixture. When ready to serve, pat leaves dry and fill with chicken. Top with green onions and cilantro. Swoon.

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Huy Fong Paleo Turkey Burgers with Tomato-Avocado Mayo

Do you know what Huy Fong is? It’s the parent company to my favorite condiment (I’m going to be honest…It took me awhile to remember how to spell that. I kept putting “condoment” ugh), Sriracha. You know, the red stuff with the green top and the rooster on the bottle.

Anyway, *LOVE* that stuff. With a pink, puffy heart.

The other day, I found myself with some frozen turkey and some leftover homemade avocado mayo (Find it here: http://fastpaleo.com/avocado-mayonnaise/). I whipped up this little ditty, Huy Fong Paleo Turkey Burgers with Tomato-Avocado Mayo. I like my recipes like I like my men–with long…. names. Get your mind of the gutter.

You’ll need:

1-1.5 lbs of ground turkey (leanness of your choosing. I went with extra lean so I could have more avocado)

2 tbsp whole grain mustard (I used Grey Poupon..I can’t say this brand with out thinking “for me to poop on”. Prime parenting material right here)

1-1.5 tbsp Sriracha (or more or less to your taste)

3-4 green onions, chopped (use only the useful tasty parts, obv)

salt and pepper, to taste

1/4 c prepared avocado mayo (link above)

2-3 tbsp plain mayo (store bought or homemade, just try to avoid one made with soybean/canola/corn oil)

1/2 c chopped tomato (I used quartered grape tomatoes)

more salt and pep, to taste

Salad greens for serving

1. Plop turkey, mustard, Sriracha, green onions and salt and pep in a bowl. Mix it up. Well. Divide into your desired size portions (I did 1/4 lb-ers). Roll into ball and then flatten to make patty. Toss your flattened patties into a preheated, oiled skillet. Let ’em cook about 5-7 minutes a side, or until the middle of the patty is no longer springy.

2. Mix the mayos and tomatoes together. Add a little salt and pepper to get desired yum quotient.

3. Arrange a bed of salad on a plate, top with a turkey burger and top that with some of your mayo mixture. If you’re feeling crazy or like you need more fat, add some sliced avocado.

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