Hair today, gone in a week or so?

Once upon a time, after a particularly long and rough deployment to Iraq that include many familial traumas, I chopped all my hair off just before my husband came home. And I don’t mean that in a 4-inches kind of way. I mean that in a I had hair halfway down my back when I entered the salon and I looked like Mia Farrow when I left kinda way.

Well, now I’m feeling the itch again. And I saw this beautiful cut that Michelle Williams had at Cannes in 2010. And I want to do it. Like, bad.

So chic, so effortless. I want to be her.Isn’t that cute? I know some men hate short hair on women. Lucky me, I was neither raised by one or am married to one. They both dig short hair on a lady.

In WOD news, I did a solo Fran at the box on Friday. It was killer/lonely. It really hammered home just how weak one can get taking 6 months off (and I will reiterate I didn’t /want/ to take 6 months off!).  I did it RX’ed–9:39. Ugh.

I should note, for my own posterity, that no TV program delights my daughter more than the Today Show. Home-girl loves her some Matt Lauer. She also stood on her own for 2 seconds yesterday (she’ll be 7 months in 2 days).

Also, 6 weeks to go until I fly baby C and myself back to Deutschland. Anyone have any tips for 11 hour plane rides with an 8 month old, aside from drugging her (which I really don’t want to do)?

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Paleo “Chicken Pad Thai” Lettuce Wraps

I really need to take pictures of these things. Sorry, guys. Will do that one day.

Today was one of those really gloomy, Texas flash floody days. We got buckets and buckets of rain and after doing 45 squat snatches today, I wanted something comforting. Something creamy and soothing. Chicken Pad Thai immediately entered my mind. But there we have problems: peanuts, noodles, soy. So, I needed a work around.

Some red curry paste, almond butter, coconut milk and a touch of maple syrup get us a delish-kenish substitute!

The cast:

1-1.5 lb organic chicken, cut into 1 inch pieces

4-6 cloves of garlic, pressed

2 tbsp coconut oil

1 tbsp + 1 tsp red curry paste

1/2 c coconut milk

2-3 tbsp almond butter

1-2 tbsp maple syrup

1/4 tsp ground coriander

1/2 tsp sea salt, or to taste

1 tbsp Sriracha (it’s baaaaack!)

8-10 leaves of Boston, Bibb or Butter lettuce

3 green onions, sliced

1/4 cup of chopped cilantro

Beginning, enter frying pan.

Saute chicken and garlic in coconut oil until chicken is done. (Read: no longer pink.) Add the curry paste and stir/saute until the chicken is all coated with that red goodness. Add the coconut milk, almond butter, syrup and spices and stir. Let the liquid reduce down until almost all gone, stirring occasionally. Adjust seasonings.

Wash lettuce leaves and let dry while you prepare the chicken mixture. When ready to serve, pat leaves dry and fill with chicken. Top with green onions and cilantro. Swoon.

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Huy Fong Paleo Turkey Burgers with Tomato-Avocado Mayo

Do you know what Huy Fong is? It’s the parent company to my favorite condiment (I’m going to be honest…It took me awhile to remember how to spell that. I kept putting “condoment” ugh), Sriracha. You know, the red stuff with the green top and the rooster on the bottle.

Anyway, *LOVE* that stuff. With a pink, puffy heart.

The other day, I found myself with some frozen turkey and some leftover homemade avocado mayo (Find it here: http://fastpaleo.com/avocado-mayonnaise/). I whipped up this little ditty, Huy Fong Paleo Turkey Burgers with Tomato-Avocado Mayo. I like my recipes like I like my men–with long…. names. Get your mind of the gutter.

You’ll need:

1-1.5 lbs of ground turkey (leanness of your choosing. I went with extra lean so I could have more avocado)

2 tbsp whole grain mustard (I used Grey Poupon..I can’t say this brand with out thinking “for me to poop on”. Prime parenting material right here)

1-1.5 tbsp Sriracha (or more or less to your taste)

3-4 green onions, chopped (use only the useful tasty parts, obv)

salt and pepper, to taste

1/4 c prepared avocado mayo (link above)

2-3 tbsp plain mayo (store bought or homemade, just try to avoid one made with soybean/canola/corn oil)

1/2 c chopped tomato (I used quartered grape tomatoes)

more salt and pep, to taste

Salad greens for serving

1. Plop turkey, mustard, Sriracha, green onions and salt and pep in a bowl. Mix it up. Well. Divide into your desired size portions (I did 1/4 lb-ers). Roll into ball and then flatten to make patty. Toss your flattened patties into a preheated, oiled skillet. Let ’em cook about 5-7 minutes a side, or until the middle of the patty is no longer springy.

2. Mix the mayos and tomatoes together. Add a little salt and pepper to get desired yum quotient.

3. Arrange a bed of salad on a plate, top with a turkey burger and top that with some of your mayo mixture. If you’re feeling crazy or like you need more fat, add some sliced avocado.

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Back at it

For the longest time, my husband has been begging me to write, because I’m so damn hilarious. But as a new mom, my free time is pretty much limited to doing laundry, meal prep, working out and the occasional afternoon of watching Friends reruns and reading something completely mindless like Mindy Kaling’s book. But…you know, I’m feeling inspired. I feel like all the wonderful and appreciative people in my life will be absolutely delighted to read what’s really going on in my head.

So, I’m gonna give you a little list of hot topics for me right now–

1) Sharing religious/political crap on facebook is unnecessary if you use it to “socially network” with your coworkers. Seriously…keep that sh*t to yourself. I’m not going to watch/read it anyway.

2) If 37 of your friends have already shared a link on facebook, do you really need to share it, too?

3) I’m tired of hearing how hard it is to work out or make an effort to think about what your putting in your pie hole. You know what’s hard? Having your toe fall off from diabetes complications. Having a stroke. Breaking a hip. I do good for my body now so I won’t be a crochety old ball of wrinkles unable to enjoy my grandchildren.

4) It takes about as much time to make Hellburger Helper as it does to season some ground bison, form it into patties, cook it and serve it with some salad and a few slices of avocado. Bonus: no freaky corn and soy byproducts going ape on your organs.

5) My sweet baby has figured out the jumperoo. To her credit, she’s very short for her age, so her feet have only really reached the ground for about a week. Anyway, for the past 2 days she’s been delighting the hell out of herself in her little jumperoo. Pretty cute. Brightened my day after I spent way too much time on the phone dealing with my [deployed] husband’s stolen debit card information.

6) I’m tired of the mommy wars. Cloth diaperers, boobaholics, baby-led-weaners, formula feeders, rice cereal at 2 weekers, tummy sleepers. WE ARE ALL JUST DOING WHAT’S BEST FOR OUR BABY. Don’t wear it like a combat patch, ladies.

7) I feel bad for anyone who questions me about my eating habits. They get way more than they bargained for, including diatribes against corn, grains, high fructose corn syrup, industrial feed lots and the like. Sorry, y’all.